My name is Evadne Cavell and I have an embarrassing secret.
I go to dark theaters and let anonymous men fondle me in the dark.
Why do I do this?
Because I’m the proverbial “good girl,” the youngest daughter of a prominent family, and I happen to teach at a private Denver college intent on taking the “liberal” out of liberal arts.
Because I need a way to vent my sexual frustration. The men I encounter aren’t interested in a big, beautiful Black women like me—not out in the open anyway.
But I have to stay in control. I lost control three years ago and live in fear of being exposed.
At the same time, I want to be an object—touched, petted, wanted—desired—but by my rules.
I can look and I can touch, but no names, no eye contact, and no talking.
Then I meet Joshua Delaney, a graphic artist from Texas who has me breaking my rules faster than a tornado levelling a trailer park and doing things I’ve never done before.
Can I live my life without shame when society feels entitled to define me?